Bullying

Bullying is a very serious issue in our society!

There is a lot of news these days about the negative effects of bullying in our schools in particular and I wanted to add my thoughts to this.

The main concern I have is that the nature of bullying seems to be misunderstood...

Bullying is for the most part, a dynamic where there is a bully and a victim. Addressing the concern by only blaming the bully does not, nor will it solve the problem... it places more focus on the bully and his or her behaviour without looking at or considering why this occurs in the first place. We need to look at why bullies are bullies as well as why victims are victims.

In my experience in working with both sides, there are always underlying factors which need to be addressed as well as the behaviour. I'm not suggesting that the behaviour doesn't need to be addressed... it's how it is addressed that is the concern.

All people behave in the ways they do because of underlying reasons... it's those reasons that need to be explored. Once they are brught to light, they need to be explored in order to create a desired change.

The first step typically, is to have the individuals involved take a hard look at their own behaviours, natures and underlying, sometimes hidden, reasoning that leads to the behaviour. This requires a degree of self- responsibility and self-acountability... which usually means that they need to learn to not be blaming in nature... to say someone else caused the behaviour.

We are not puppets and are not controlled by anyone else. We all, for our own reasons, are in charge and responsible for who we are and what we do... others may contribute to that development, but, in the end, it is us, as individuals that choose.

Judgment and fear are other issues that will typically surface tht also need to be dealt with.
This is not a quick fix solution... but we all need to work on bias reduction as opposed to punishing the bully with consequences that are not, nor will not be helpful.
Both bullies and victims do need additional resources to help them work their individual issues... to better understand and be more aware of why things seems to happen the way that they do.
If you or someone you know needs help with any of this, have them contact me.

Until later,
Leland Clipperton, H.S.C.
www.CounsellingandMediation.com
Leland@CounsellingandMediation.com

705 999-2107
905 510-9117