and yet, we all can have that gut-wrenching feeling that indicates that that is happening... and then the conflict or struggles begin. We go off into defensiveness and out comes the "you always", "you never", comments or the "ya but you" or "you're not listening" or "you don't get me".... all of these reactions implying an attack of some kind that requires a defensive response rather than asking the basic question. "why is this person saying this?".
1. Remember that we are connected and if we're not experiencing that, we need to look within.
2. Cheer lead each other... be kind, supportive and encouraging.
3. Learn to communicate differently with each other... start by asking questions, not stating opinions or trying to be right all the time.
4. Know that if you've made it wrong... you can make it right!
5. Stop repeating the same behaviour, expecting different results.
6. Stop blaming the other person... be more accountable for your part.
7. Learn to compromise... being assertive is helpful in accomplishing this rather than a passive (I give up/in) or aggressive (I always am right) approach.
8. Make your relationship a priority.
9. Make the other person feel special.
10. Find out what's important to them and support that.
11. Mutually develop goals and plan to get them accomplished.
12. Try something new together.
13. Develop a common financial plan and budget.
14. Demonstrate respect for each other.
15. Play with each other.
16. Have a regular date night.
17. Maintain physical connection through touching , caressing, lovemaking.
18. Be curious about each other.
19. Focus on what you enjoy about each other.
20. Get help when you need more information or are experiencing difficulties...
if you don't have what you think you want, you probably need help getting it!
Until later,
Leland Clipperton
www.CounsellingandMediation.com
Leland@CounsellingandMediation.com
705 999-2107
905 510-9117
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