"Mind's" Eye?

What is in your "mind's" eye? What do you find yourself thinking about in a repeated manner? What thoughts seem to draw your focus more than others? Or alternatively, what you try not to think about? ... which causes you to think about it more!



It's important to know what these things are. They are indicators... clue if you will, into our inner beliefs... our "minds" eye.

I put mind in "" because we have two distinct and separate thought systems... conscious ... unconscious; ego ... spiritual; ... struggle, conflict, fear & judgement ... peaceful...

If you don't have what you think you want... why not? It could be that your "minds" eye is drawn to the

 very obstacle that disables you from having that which you want!

Are you thinking with your minds eye or your eyes mind?

Until later
Leland

http://www.counsellingandmediation.com/
leland@CounsellingandMediation.com

I Get To!

Many of us have had life changing moments that are occasssionly recalled in positive ways as well as negative ways... Here is one...


I was having one of those bad mornings a number of years ago... thinking about bills to pay, dishes to do, clients to see and I HAD to take our son to school... generally telling myself that I was soooo burdened and victimized in my life...

All the things I HAD TO DO!!!!!

Coincidently my brother called in the midst of the building turmoil in my mind... "Hi, how's it goin?" he said. Well, I let into him about ALL the "problems" and "burdens" I was experiencing, including having to drive my son to school...

He responded... "Oh, you mean you GET to take him to school!"
My life change in that moment... I do get to, I don't HAVE TO... I choose to...

No matter what excuses or justifications I use to explain or experience my self-victimization, I am choosing in that moment. Not because I neccessarily want to but because I am asleep in my own dream of struggle and conflict and am busy gathering evidence to make it all seem real and justified. Why would I choose to think that doing something I actually enjoyed and would certainly miss when I couldn't do it, would be a burden? (It was certainly bitter-sweet when he got his first car and was driving himself to school! like teaching your child to ty his own shoes, knowing that you won't be able to after he learns...)

I get to choose. What a novel idea and perspective to remember and what a seemingly easy thing to forget.

Until later,
Leland Clipperton, H.S.C.

http://www.counsellingandmediation.com/
info@CounsellingandMediation.com
(905) 510-9117
(705) 443-8290

The Nature of our EGO

Ego has a purpose. It has a function in our lives that we all must consider, learn about and embrace.

Our ego allows us to individuate ourselves from each other. I am a separate being on this planet. I exist as an individual. I have my own body, my own mind, my own will....

The job of our ego is to allow us to believe that we must exist this way.

What is puzzling to me is that what we all seek in our lives, what we all feel is missing, what we all genuinely want to hold on to is connection; a sense of spiritual inclusion with each other, the desire to feel a true sense of belonging.

We grieve when we don't have it and crave it when it's not there. Almost all art, all music is about one topic... unrequited love. The longing for that which we feel we don't have.

So, now we have a paradox to deal with. On one hand we have our egos which cause us to see the world of separation, of division; and we have our spirituality which sees us as connected spirits walking along the same path.

It seems to me to be a common occurrence that when I experience "that moment" of connection, that moment when it feels like getting lost in someones eyes... actually having what I believe I am seeking...
my ego pulls me away from the experience, often with fear and typically with judgement.

Our egos become threatened by the connection we seek. Our egos focus on dis-connection which is justified by apparent differences. Those differences become fearful because they're not us. And those fears are justified by judgement.

All this process does is cause us to focus on the illusion that dis-connection is the reality and connection is a fleeting moment of our lives.

I suggest a slightly different approach...

Putting reins on our egos, using our cognitive reasoning, our logic and our spiritual strength to use and understand how to use the information process of our ego minds in a beneficial way. Our egos can't be eliminated, so why not re-focus it to increase our connection with others. If we are aware that each of us has a tendency to focus on our differences, then perhaps we can observe how we normally might consider those differences and offer ourselves the opportunity to consider understanding that the differences are beneficial, complementary. The differences do not need to be considered as threatening.

All of us have the little voice inside us... call it what you will... moral judgement, jimminie cricket, good orderly direction, Holy Spirit, Jesus, God, our conscience... It often can indicate our opportunity of choice. Choosing to think differently, to focus on a constructive, positive and beneficial thought... in spite of our ego tendencies!

I want to provide an example regarding connection...

When we first meet someone, our tendency is to notice and focus on the differences like skin colour, gender, size, shape, smell, clothing, behaviour, speech, etc. The underlying assumption being that if we were the "same" we'd be less threatened and safer... therefore more connected. The better we get to know someone, the less threatening they become. We don't focus or even, eventually, notice the differences when we are focused on the connection. We subconsciously suspend the judgement and "threat" of the differences.

If you're a parent, you would have a difficult time denying or repressing the connection you have with your child(ren). You may not approve of, understand or support certain behaviours, but none of those things would/do/could alter your ultimate connection. In fact, we can not alter that level of connection.

We only seem to because our ego (yes it's back again) begins to see and focus on judgement and fear so we can feel unique and special because we're individuals.... yay! Isn't it odd that we can feel the most disconnected with the ones we care about the most? That we can feel the most threatened by the ones we love? We care about what they say... if we are reacting, it is because of our own sensitivities... but that's another time.

Until later,
Leland
http://www.counsellingandmediation.com/
info@CounsellingandMediation.com
(905) 510-9117
(705) 443-8290

Eyes lead... Brain follows

A good friend advised me one day many years ago that "what you hold in your head is what you hold in your hand"...

Bringing focus to something that we consciously want heightens our awareness and sensitivity to that object or desire. It then may seem easier to acquire or work on that which we want, as opposed to what we don't want. It allows us to see opportunity where we might otherwise not.

Be aware of the excuses/justification that can creep into our minds when creating positive change... I always try to remember to ask myself, why am I making something I want hard to get???? Why not put it into my head that it will be easy. It only seems hard because I may not have done it before or that I may not know about it. Unfamiliarity can certainly breed fear which will create judgement and negative intention... and allow me to lose my focus and give up... even before starting.

We are creatures that seem to need experience... proof if you will, before we believe something. Even then I'll hear that "well someone else can do that, but it doesn't mean that I can".

One day as my wife and I were driving in a very upscale neighbourhood looking at the beautiful homes there, I quietly expressed some envy... My astute wife simply said, "somebody's got to live there and if they can, can't anybody else". There's no reason, except the ones we make up, as to why we can't have what we want!

Suggested steps to get what you want...

1. Clarify what you want... it may be helpful to first think of what you don't want (somehow seems more natural), then think about what you do want.

2. Write what you want down... get pictures of it, talk about it.

3. Set out a specific plan of action for what you need to do to get there.

4. Set up daily accountability with someone you trust to remind you when you're not following your plan.

5. Believe that you deserve and are working on focusing and obtaining your desire.

6. You may run into the odd roadblock along the way... don't minimize these, they're providing information you didn't have at the beginning and may simply be indicators requiring you to refine or tweak your plan.

Until later

Leland

http://www.counsellingandmediation.com/

info@CounsellingandMediation.com
(905) 510-9117
(705) 443-8290

3 Rules of our Brain

1. Brains don't have clocks... Brains are only able to process information in the present.

People sometimes say to me that they're over a circumstance from their past, however they remain somewhat hostage to the situation and the resultant emotions. They are dealing with the emotion in the present, not in the past.

If you want something in the future, you don't really want it in the future, you want it now!

2. Our brains focus on the object of a statement, not on a negative or positive. Try to not think about something... like pink elephants!

3. Our brains can't distinguish between reality and non-reality. Have you ever thought you'd done something or told somebody something? What we process in our brains is reality.

Albert Einstein (my favourite philosopher) said, "reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.

Until later...

Leland
http://www.counsellingandmediation.com/
info@CounsellingandMediation.com
(905) 510-9117
(705) 443-8290

Watch what you ask for?

You don't get what you don't ask for....

You do get what you do ask for....

Be aware of what you ask for,

consciously or otherwise!

Until later,
Leland Clipperton, H.S.C.
http://www.counsellingandmediation.com/
info@CounsellingandMediation.com
(905) 510-9117
(705) 443-8290

What's on YOUR mind?????

It's incredible to me that our beliefs, interpretations and assumptions can be sooooo varied!

When we go to a "professional" they will naturally have the outlook, perceptions and recommendations based upon their beliefs and training. We will sometimes hang on to what we believe to be true to our graves... even when alternatives may be obvious.

Think about how we treat our own bodies. The obvious questions are... what do we put in our mouths that is contributing to our health? What do we do to exercise our bodies? Do we practice appropriate sleep habits? How do we manage the stress in our lives?

Even when we have the "answers" and we know what we should be doing... what do we do???? Typically justify the immediated "negative" behaviour, allowing ourselves to have that ice cream, drink that beer, not go for that walk, etc. The discipline of looking after our own bodies seems to be more than we can handle... Can you imagine having the level of discipline it seems to take to "change our mind" or at least consider an alternative?

What we have on our mind is an acummulation of information we have collected over the years, patterned in certain specific ways that contribute to our self-definition. These "thoughts" are projected into our individual worlds in a way that further assist in defining us.

Now... here's the twist. Prior to now, you probably have believed that your image IS WHO YOU ARE and that you do not have any say or control over that impression...

We do, in fact have control over that image... we can change our thoughts...

However, if you understad how challenging it can be to do the obvious for our bodies, you can probably also understand why the process of simply changing your mind can seem impossible, improbable and unlikely to occur.

We all need help doing this. It seems that loving reminders, and supportive accountability is a neccessity for most people.

Begin by outlining what is predominately on your mind. Your thoughts are indicators that provide patterns. It takes someone who has had appropriate training coupled with the innate skill to ask the right questions and provide the most effective diirection.

Until later...

Leland
http://www.counsellingandmediation.com/
info@CounsellingandMediation.com
(905) 510-9117
(705) 443-8290